FIRSTWORKS

Bird sport

And welcome to the 45th Bird Olympics being held here in Hawk Bay where we are at the poolside for the water polo. Normally thought to be a shoe-in for the Gannets. This year the Starlings, seen here in the warm up pool, have made a surprise showing and managed to get themselves into the semi-finals against the Puffins. More of that later.

Earlier in the day the Ostrich won the 100-metre sprint, beating the Emu by three tenths of a second. In third place was the Cassowary after the Roadrunner was disqualified for an illegal flap that lifted him so far above the ground that he trod air for three paces.

The Ostrich is also the odds-on favourite for the marathon having the ability to run long distances at a solid 31mph compared to the humans scrabbling around at a tad over 13mph.

In the fencing the Avocet won the gold medal, but his victory is being reviewed because it is alleged he used a sabre beak instead of the standard epee. The Avocet Fencing Association is appealing to the Olympic Committee on the grounds that he was using a natural ability and that barring him from the competition would be discriminatory.

There’s a David and Goliath battle going on in the hover play-off between the South American Hummingbird and the Albatross. In a best of three the Hummingbird took an early lead when the expected noon spirals failed to materialise and the Albatross fell awkwardly to ground. However, the tie was levelled when someone opened a jar of Manuka honey and the distracted Hummingbird left the designated fly zone. There were rumours that a Common Gull had smuggled the honey into the arena.

Over in dressage ring we are still in the preliminary stages with the Lyre Bird, Quetzal and Golden Pheasant trailing the winner for the last 12 years, the Bird of Paradise. However, even this event is not without its controversy as the crowds felt the Lyre bird was marked too low in the tail movement section and this drastically affected his overall score. With the Golden Pheasant expected to triumph in eventing, it will be down to the log jumping to see if the Birds of Paradise can retain the medal.

In the ultra-flyweight class in weightlifting, the Robin favourite pulled a beak muscle in the final round leaving the unfancied Wren to lift twice her body weight to claim gold.

In brief: The Pigeons retained the title in the ball section of the rhythmic gymnastics as well as dominating events in the velodrome. The Flamingos easily beat the Owls in basketball. The Swans eased their way to a win over the Canada Geese in the sailing. Breaking news suggest the entire Collared Dove team may been thrown out for using a ringer.

Meanwhile, back at the pool we have late news that the Starlings have withdrawn from the competition. The murmur is that they got involved in a team squabble. Nothing new there then.

 

Picture courtesy Claire Day of tinpanart.co.uk

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